Deadly Emotions
by Hope16
Summary: Kagome is a beautiful woman who married Lord Sesshoumaru as any woman of high class would be happy to do. Her husband leaves for business often leaving Kagome alone as she fights the emotions she's feeling...for Sesshoumaru's brother.
1. Default Chapter

Deadly Emotions

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

"Priestess, I need you to rid me of this sin. I was here yesterday and I've come again to confess. I don't feel right holding such a sin in and I know I can trust you."

"Well then, continue. What sin have you committed?"

"The sin of lust."

"Girl," The priestess could not contain the shock, "Kagome, was that not the same sin you committed yesterday and the day before that? Is it for the same person?"

"Yes."

"Then why do you continue to see him and thus invite your sin in?"

"Priestess, I can not avoid him for he dwells in my household. Honestly, part of me thinks the god's should be satisfied that it is only lust and I have not sinned greater!"

"Hush your mouth child! All sins are of the same treachery!"

"Forgive me again then, I was speaking irrationally."

The priestess softened her voice to become more soothing and calm, "Kagome, you can not continue seeing him for lust will turn into a greater sin. Tell me, why do you not just long for you husband?"

"I'd long to be with my husband but while I am home alone, with my sin, my husband leaves farther and farther from my thoughts. I love him, yet if he loved me as well he's be home. I'm not sure what I'm feeling anymore. I must go, thank you Priestess Kikyou."

Kagome departed, knowing tomorrow she would return to the town to confess the same sin.

Three months earlier Kagome never imagined being in that hut confessing such a horrible sin. Her body was nicely decked in white lace and her young features were accentuated with rouge and lip pulp. She was as beautiful as her mother had ever seen her and that must have been an amazing sight, for Kagome was the beauty of Japan. Countless hearts broke that lovely May day and Kagome's sympathies went towards them. She never knew hate, betrayal, or even heartbreak so although she had many admires she was by all means flattered and yet tortured at the same time.

Her father beamed. Kagome Higurashi was to marry Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands. He had been courting Kagome for two months and his qualities were far surpassing all of the other suitors. None would do, except for Lord Sesshoumaru and his daughter _would _take him, whether she desired to or not.

Kagome did not resist. She was 17 and he was a respectable 28. She did not love him but he was courteous, handsome, wealthy and he was the closest thing to love she had ever experienced. She imagined herself being truly happy with him.

The wedding was lavish and large. It seemed as if all of Tokyo had attended. The Higurashi's had no enemies, Lord Sesshoumaru had none, in Japan at least, and every acquaintance was invited...except for Kouga.

He stood outside the shrine praying that he might catch a glimpse of Kagome beautifully decked as a bride. That had always been his longing. Yet, also for him to be the man taking her home. How could a 19 year old poet compete with a Lord? Kouga chose to believe that Kagome was forced to marry the Lord and she truly longed to be with Kouga, himself. Alas, inside he knew that was untrue and her heart could never be his. The words she told him three years earlier still consumed his mind.

Flashback

Kouga Takashi," She began after tripping at her fathers ball. She was utterly embarrassed and Kouga sang her a song out in the garden.

"Yes, Kagome Higurashi?"

"Love me forever. No matter what I do to you...you hold my past that means you have to hold my future. I don't know when I'll be able to give that to you, but please...just love me forever."

End Flashback

She then kissed him. And now here he was, Kouga Takashi, waiting outside a shrine where the same girl who said those words to him was getting married to another man. All Kouga could think was, 'I hold her future Lord. You can have her present, but you'll never take away what we have.'

Kagome entered her home...the Lords palace. She began removing her hat and outer coat when a smooth voice made it's way to her ears.

"Good day, my Lady."

"Good day, Milord."

"Please, Kagome. You are family. For the past week I've been asking you to call me Inuyasha. Will you not grant me that one wish?" The young man walked over and kissed her hand. A faint blush stained Kagome's checks and she was pleased he did not mention it.

"Of course." She stated barely above a whisper. "Please excuse me, mil..er...Inuyasha." And with that she departed into her bed chambers until supper.

While finally alone Kagome considered her situation. "One more day" she sighed. In one day her husband would be home. She hadn't seen him in three weeks. She blamed her sinful thoughts on that. Her brother-in-law, Lord Inuyasha had been in Tokyo for the winter just as he did every year. He was a handsome 21 year old man with the long silver hair just like his brother. But his eyes were a deeper gold then she had ever seen in her husband. Kagome was immediately captured by him, for Inuyasha had one thing over his older brother...romance.

Well this is a new one, and yet a very old piece of writing for me. I found this the other day and I had written it over 3 years ago. The thing is that it wasn't written as a fanfic. It's just a story. Sao yes, the characters are OOC. But I don't really care

So try not to leave me reviews telling me they are OOC. I know.

Anyway, this story was only a work in progress when I found it so I'm going to try to see what I can do with it.

As always leave reviews and thanks!


	2. Dinner Confessions

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

A light tap startled Kagome out of her thoughts. "Yes?" She managed to choke out. The door opened slightly and her chambermaid cautiously peeped her head in the door.

"Dinner is prepared and being served Milady. I have already informed Lord Inuyasha." The girl was no older then 18 and she stood erect waiting for further orders.

Kagome's lips curved into a smile which she tried to hide from the girl. This girl in front of her was trying so hard to act proper. The girl could only be about a year Kagome's elder and she realized how similar they were. Both girls were trapped in an unavoidable situation, she was in between faithfulness and desire. And the chambermaid was to forever remain a chambermaid with no hopes of moving up in the world. The biggest similarity between them though was the fact that they were both _girls_. Young children only beginning to mature. Kagome had never had a female companion besides her mother, yet her mother only taught her about society...and that was all.

"What is your name?" Kagome could see that she had startled the girl by asking such a question.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" She stammered out.

"Your name girl, I asked for your name."

"Sango, milady." The girl curtsied as if ashamed to have told her. Kagome hated this. She was no Queen, she did not deserved to be bowed to.

"Oh for heavens sake, you have committed no sin. No raise, why do you insist on curtsying to me? I am of no royalty."

"Perhaps not, Milady, but you are the Lords wife." Sango commented shyly. Kagome sat there shocked. She waved Sango away without waving her eyes.

That was why all of her friends stopped visiting, why her male companions ceased communication. It was so simple, she was the Lords wife. She was now of high station and the people who once loved her could not see beyond her husbands title. She had no one to talk to...except Inuyasha.

Dinner was like all the other dinners had been that week. Inuyasha sat there chatting away about any random thing he could thing of, he was high in both life and spirits, while Kagome emptily giggled at anything appropriate.

"I received a letter from Sesshoumaru today." Inuyasha stated whole heartedly as he sipped from his silver goblet.

Kagome suddenly sat up alert, "Well, what did he say?"

"He said he shall be delayed but hopes to be back in time to see me before I leave." Inuyasha chuckled at the supposed absurdity, "I don't know why he'd worry. I'm not leaving for another 2 months, certainly he can not be delayed that long."

"Indeed. Well, did he say anything about me? I'm rather distraught in the thought that he did not write me. Does he not miss me at all?"

Inuyasha sat down his fork and stared at Kagome in concern. She was looking intently at her plate but showed no desire to eat anything that was on it. "Of course he mentioned you, my dear. How could I have been so foolish to forget to tell you?"

"He did? Oh please, tell me what he said." Inuyasha looked deep within his mind and tried to find some lie for this girl before him with now newly sparkling eyes. His brother had not really mentioned Kagome at all. Yet how could he not? Sesshoumaru was the luckiest man to have such a beautiful girl as his wife. She had such radiance and intelligence that only helped undertone her extreme kindness and gentleness. She was perfect and Inuyasha envied his brother for it.

"Well he said, 'Take close watch of my beautiful wife, Kagome. I know hungry men would love to try and steal her away from me.' Then at the end of his letter he told me to send you his love." Inuyasha replayed the words through his head. He found it satisfactory, Kagome would buy it.

"How sweet of him." Kagome acted as if she had just shrugged it off, but he could see that she was still a giddy child and the news pleased her greatly. They sat there in a strange awkward silence...although neither of them really knew why.

Usually Inuyasha would break such a silence, but this time he had lied to his sister-in-law; a beautiful woman who his brother never mentioned in a tender way...whom his brother did not even acknowledge in a letter to him. He didn't know what to say.

He was so deep in thought that he almost missed Kagome's voice speaking to him. "What would you have written, Inuyasha?"

"Excuse me?"

"In the letter, if you were Sesshoumaru, what would you have said about your wife of three months who you hadn't seen in three weeks?"

She seemed so calm even though she was asking such a personal question. It startled Inuyasha but he knew he had to answer, "Well firstly, I would have written a letter to you...or I mean, my wife. I'd express my yearning to see her and hold her again. Of how I count the moments until my return to her. And how my only comfort is in knowing the stars I watch during my many sleepless night are lighting her face as she sleeps...or I'd write something like that." He chuckled at it. It sounded pretty good for coming up off the top of his head.

He then continued thoughtfully seeing as she sat silent, "Although, you do know Kagome, you have ruined me. I shall never meet a woman as beautiful or as wonderful and my brothers wife. If I were my brother I'd be having only sleepless nights. Do not be hurt Lady Kagome. Perhaps you immense greatness has left my brother speechless and tongue-tied. I must tell you that you have effect on me...even me."

During Inuyasha's speech Kagome left her eyes on her plate, too frightened to look at his beautiful face. When he was done speaking she rose from her spot from the table and walked by him as she spoke. "I thank you for your compliments, Inuyasha. But, it is well known that my husband is far from tongue-tied. Thank you for trying to lighten my mood. You are truly a romantic.

At that she stopped by his chair keeping her eyes down as her mind searched quickly as to what to say. Finally she spoke again. "I shall return to the village tomorrow. I need to talk with the Priestess...again. Goodnight, Milord."


	3. Tea chats and Birthday roses

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

Kagome could feel her heart hardening daily. She tried to avoid Inuyasha as much as possible. Yet, when it was inevitable she intentionally shunned him. The last thing she wanted to do was push him away. She had no one to talk to except for him. He was the only one who didn't see her as the Lord of the Western Land's wife. No, he saw her as something much worse...his sister-in-law.

After everything he had said to her she knew they were getting in too deep. Those were not things one says as a mere friendly compliment. Those were words lovers shared in whispered voices covered by the night. One thought continued to haunt her mind, 'Is it possible for him to desire me back?' It was a sinful thought and there really was no way she could ever find out the answer...

A knock came from the library door where Kagome was usually found reading. "Come in," She answerd; praying that it wasn't Inuyasha. The chambermaid entered the library and curtsied.

"Tea is ready, Milady."

"Would you bring it in here please?" Kagome asked, and the girl began to walk away to do her bidding, "Wait! Bring in two cups if you would please." Kagome sat there absently fumbling through pages while waiting for her tea

The chambermaid entered again carrying a silver tray with tea and assorted snacks. She placed the tray on the dinning table at the far end of the library. Kagome watched over the edge of her book in amusement as the girl fumbled trying to decide where to put the second cup of tea. She could put it beside the other one in case they were both for the Lady, or perhaps she was expecting company.

"Milady?" She asked meekly.

"Yes?" Kagome answered, pretending to not know the nature of the question or of the young maids dilemma.

"Are you expecting company?"

"Why, no. Why-ever do you ask?" Kagome smirked.

"Well, the second cup, Milady."

"Oh, yes. That." She began as she walked over to the table and took her seat. She picked up the second cup and held it up to her, "This is for you. You do like tea, don't you?"

Sango cautiously picked up the cup and nodded dumbly. "I can't though..."

"Oh pish posh! Please, shut the door and take a seat. You are my guest for afternoon tea and it is impolite for any guest not to take a seat when asked to. Especially while drinking tea!" Sango went and shut the door quickly and came back to take her seat across from the Lady of the house. "Relax Sango. How old are you?"

"18, Milady." Sango said staring at her untouched tea.

"As I shall be next month. Really I should be calling you 'Milady' seeing as you are my elder." Sango's eyes flew up to Kagome's face to be greeted with a warm genuine smile. "You shouldn't worry so. I've been trying to get to know you since I first discovered your name all those months ago. You are a very beautiful girl. I must admit, I'm quite envious of your hair." Kagome smiled.

"My hair? Oh, Milady! You are said to be the most beautiful woman in Japan! Why on earth would you want your maids hair?" Sango exclaimed both shocked and embarrassed.

Kagome laughed at her honesty and Sango's inability to take a comment, "Because you have very nice hair! Why else? I can never seem to get mine that straight." All of a sudden her mood changed and her eyes drifted past Sango to a place Sango believed must be serious and sad, "Besides, I really don't see what people see in me when I look in the mirror. Much less the most beautiful woman in Japan..." Her voice drifted off. Suddenly she came back to reality and perked back up, "But it's of no matter! Let's just drink our tea and have a very pleasant conversation."

"Why do you take such an interest in me?" Sango asked. She was feeling uncomfortable and only lightly sipped the tea to please the woman across from her.

"The truth is I'm lonely. I'm not use to being alone without people to talk to. I knew you were my age and I couldn't help myself."

"What about Lord Inuyasha?"

"He's...my brother-in-law. He's a kind man and very funny. Unfortunately, you can't tell secrets to your brother-in-law. You could to your husband...but that's a different story." Kagome lied. How could she tell the girl in front of her the torture she was feeling because of Inuyasha. She would wait until she knew her better. "I'm sorry. You must find me a terrible person. Babbling on about my 'terrible' life when I've got more then most people."

"No, of course I don't think you are a terrible person! Why would you think that?" Sango asked.

"Tell me, do you enjoy being a chambermaid?"

"I suppose so. It's all I've ever known." Sango answered, eyeing the snacks in the middle of the table.

"It's all you ever will know as well."

"Excuse me, Milady?"

"I'm sorry, how rude of me. We are alike, you and I, both of us are stuck in our stature. We have no way to move from them." Kagome's voice drifted off and she noticed the sad look on Sango's face. She thought for a moment, trying to think of a solution. "I'll make a deal with you."

Sango's eyes lifted and she curtly nodded her head.

"When together you and I are equals. Not from high or low society, just friends. That is...if you are willing to be my friend." Kagome picked up the platter of snacks and offered them to Sango.

Sango reached for one and smiled gratefully. "I would like that. Thank you...Kagome."

They had reached an understanding and as the two sat there talking and giggling Kagome came to realize that she wasn't going to be lonely anymore.

The month went by faster for Kagome. Whenever Sango had finished her chores she would find Kagome and they would talk for hours. It didn't take long for them to connect and it seemed as if they had known each other forever.

Still, the sadness was not all gone from Kagome's life. She say quietly by the fire reading. The ground outside was covered by snow and she couldn't shake the feeling that everything felt dead. She was reading the words in her book but her mind wouldn't concept them. She had heard no word from Sesshoumaru. Christmas had come and gone as well as New Years and still she had no good tidings from her husband of now, seven months.

Now she was sitting alone on her 18th birthday. Her mother and father had come to visit her. They had dinner together then just relaxed by the fire and talked about Kagome's childhood days. It was pleasant and it gave Kagome a sense of relief to know that her parents really did still love her. Yet, her own husband did not send his love. At this point Kagome had completely sat down the book and looked sadly into the fire.

A slight tap on the door frame caused her to turn her head and look at the source of the noise, "Good evening, Milady." Inuyasha said leaning against the doorframe.

"Good evening, Lord Inuyasha. Can I help you with something?" She said as warmly as possible.

"I only wanted to bring you your birthday gift." He swiftly made his way over to Kagome's side and reveled the package that he had been hiding behind his back.

Kagome peered at it questionably before she finally took it, "You bought me a gift?"

He smiled brightly and watched as she unwrapped it. A long white box lay in her hands beckoning her to open it. Hesitantly she lifted the lid and there slept a perfect red rose. The deep shade of crimson contrasted with the white box in such a manner that it left Kagome in awe.

"Where did you find this? It's the middle of winter." She whispered.

"I have my ways." He crouched down beside the chair she was sitting in. He took her hand in his and said in a low, hopeful voice, "Do you like it? It's not much, but...it's alive."

"It's perfect, Inuyasha. Thank you." A lonely tear fell down her cheek. Inuyasha wiped it off of her face and then kissed it. "Why did you do that?"

Inuyasha looked at her with such emotion that it took her breath away. "Not a single one of your tears should be wasted on the cursed floor. I know you cry, Kagome. I know you won't let me kiss them away, but I also know that you want me to. I want to, gods Kagome, the only thing I want in this world is to make you happy...please let me!"

Kagome could not contain herself. Everything he said was the truth and that's what made it kill her inside. She couldn't fall into sin, she could hold onto her temptation...but that was exactly what she did. She threw her arms around her own personal devil's neck and cried as he kissed her tears away. It was shameful and wrong, but neither of them was going to turn back now.


	4. Midnight Fights

The walls seemed to be closing in around her and with each of her dreaded heartbeats she saw the maroon colored walls pulsating as well, coming closer and closer to her. It was all because of her thick shame. The guilt was spilling off of her in a gooey manner seeming to drip off like sweet molases. She felt dirty, ugly, and so confused. What had happened was somethng she had fought for the longest time to prevent and yet for all of her efforts no amount of denying it was going to change what was bound to happen. It was as if she was destined by the gods to end up in Inuyasha's arms and she only found Sesshoumaru by a mistake.

What exactly did happiness mean? All that she had ever wanted in her life was to feel loved and Sesshoumaru didn't do that. But did Inuyasha love her, or was she only a tool that he used to sastiate his intense lust? She loved her husband, that was her job as his wife, but did she love Inuyasha as well. DID Sesshoumaru love her and just not know how to show it? There were far too many questions that she just didn't know how to answer. She was curled up in a tiny ball laying in the middle of her bed sobbing softly as the devil came and played tricks on her once pure and innocent mind.

Was Inuyasha sill laying in his bed, smirking in satisfaction at the feat he had just accomplished? All he had done was seduce his brothers wife with his charm and sweet words. He had probably done that to many women. Yes, he had taken many women before...that thought made Kagome sick with grief. Was it jealousy or was it the thought that she really wasn't special at all. She couldn't have been special, all she was was a pretty face. No, neither of the brothers could or would love her. She was living in a fantasy world and for the first time in her life she saw that...she was alone.

A slight tap on her bedchambers caused her to sit up and wipe her face assuming it was Sango. "Yes?" she called out in a terribly sad voice which surprised even herself. The door opened and there stood a rather distressed looking Inuyasha. "Why are you here?" She whispered spitefully. For a brief moment Kagome thought she caught a look of pain in Inuyasha's eyes. It disappeared quickly if it was ever even there at all.

With a few quick steps in his purposeful stride Inuyasha sat himself down right beside Kagome. He grabbed her chin quite forcefully and shook it bit. "Look at me, Kagome." When she refused he got a little louder, "Damnit, Kagome, look at me NOW!" When she finally brought her eyes up to look at him he crashed his lips down upon hers in a bruising kiss that seemed to last for lifetimes. Kagome never relaxed against his kiss as he had expected that she would. She treambled but still remained tense and frightened.

Inuyasha looked into her deep brown eyes and melted immediatly. She was so confused and it was all his fault. She was still just a girl and no matter how beautiful and perfect she was the world had yet to currupt her and he knew that she was scared of death and sin and even of herself. He felt like a monster in that moment. He came in the room expecting her to throw her arms around him and tell him how much she knew she loved him, he wouldn't be getting that satisfaction though, and he felt foolish for thinking that he would.

"I'm sorry. I can't change what happened." Inuyasha said.

Kagome widened her eyes and water filled the bottom of them, "Are you saying that you regret it? If that is the case then I should be the one who is sorry, not you."

"You can't tell me that you don't regret it, Kagome. I can see it in your eyes. You are afraid of me and I don't know why."

"I'm not afriad of you, I'm afraid of myself. I just want...something that I can't have." Kagome checked her wording for if Inuyasha knew that all she wanted was to be loved then she knew that he would say he did. Any man has the ability to look a woman in the eyes and declare his love for her even if that is not at all the case. Kagome might have been young but she was no fool.

"What do you want?" He asked, knowing he was willing to give her anything.

"Nothing you can provide." The words came out of her mouth like venom. It was as sharp as any bite and Inuyasha looked physically wounded by them.

"You don't trust me, do you? All because of my terrible brother!" Inuyasha stated looking away.

"Don't talk about him that way! That is my husband and he is far from terrible. He is a wonderful provider and he has so much to offer. I love him!"

"Kagome! Listen to yourself! You are talking nothing but foolishness. Sesshoumaru isn't even here to give you any type of affection or love and yet you call him a great provider! Why the hell are you sticking up for that prick?" Inuyasha shot back, his face becoming red with rage.

"I told you! I love him. I am his wife, I agreed to marry him because I love him. Is that really so hard for you to comprehend?"

"Yes, seeing as you were with me just tonight. You can not be as in love with him as you claim to be if you found warmth in my bed just a few hours ago." He said calmly and slowly to her. His face was just inchest from hers and he leaned foreward to whispere into her ear, "Now, tell me you love my less then worthy brother." He nipped at her ear to make an impact.

Kagome couldn't help the tingle she felt as the sweet air flowed from Inuyashas mouth unto her ear but at the same time as the pleasent sensation was running through her body she also felt rage. He was tempting her again, he was useing physical pleasure to pull her away from what she was saying. He was trying to prove her wrong by something as unappealing as sex. She moved away from him quickly and in one quick motion she brought her hand to his face in a curt slap. "Leave me!"

Inuyasha held his own hand to the already forming red mark caused by her slap and stared blankly. Seconds later he was able to comprehend what was happening. Kagome had pulled far away from him and held her knees firmly to her chest crying. Any other time he would have wanted to bring her into his arms and make all the pain go away, especially now that he knew he was the cause of most of that pain. Any other time it would have killed him to see her like this. Any other time, yes, but this time...

He was going to show no pity to her. He came in here in an effort to give her comfort when he knew she was probably a little lost in her own mind, yet from the moment he opened that door she snapped at him. She was proving to be more difficult then he was prepared for. He figured that proving his love was going to take a good deal of work but this was far more then he had bargined for.

He stood up stiffly and made himself more presentable. He gave her a curt bow. "As you wish, Milady." He said with his voice dripping with sarcasim. He noticed the shock on Kagome's face. She hadn't expected him to give in that easily, but he did and he was leaving her there to drown in her misery. She looked into his eyes, looking frantically for any sign that he wasn't really going to allow himself to go back to the formal exchange they shared between each other before. All she found was the cold, hard, truth that she had pushed him too far.

She allowed a sob to escape her throat and she threw her head back down in her knees and whimpered as he turned to leave her. "I am sorry, Inuyasha. I'm confused...so confused." She hadn't expected him to hear it, but Inuyasha could pick up any word muttered in the farthest part of the house. He had heard her and it cut him through to the heart but nothing was going to make him change directions. He was walking away and as he turned to shut the door he caught a peek of her body trembling on the bed.

"She is going to be worth that fight I'll have to go through to claim her."

"Lord Sesshoumaru, how long will your stay be?"

"Only for a day or two. I will merely take care of the business that needs to be addressed with your Lord and then I shall take my leave."

"Of couse, Milord. Follow me if you would please to your bedchambers. Lord Naraku requests you to join him for dinner tonight. The chambermaid will inform you of when it is prepared. Might I inquire, Milord, of what your rush is? You usually stay with Lord Naraku for at least 2 weeks."

"I have a young wife at home. She has yet to write me and I am slightly concerned. So yes, two days will be sifficiant for this trip."

The small very pale girl curtzied and then left. The man standing alone in the bedchamber looked out the window. He opened the package that he always traveled with. Inside were letters from his brother. None of his letters mentioned how Kagome was doing. He would be lying if he had claimed that his worry of Kagome's affections for him didn't exsist. But he was worried, very worried. He knew that Inuyasha would take care of her and that if something was terribly wrong with her then he would have told him.

But Sesshoumaru did not trust his new bride, how could he? There were far too many men who fell in love with her just by a smile. He would go home and see her and within the night she would be all his again. No one could beat him when it came to her heart. She was his trophy wife, and even if he didn't really love her it didn't mean that he wouldn't over time. None of that mattered though. What did matter was that she belonged to him...it was as pure and as simple as that. She was claimed...and it was by him.

A/N

Thank you for the reviews! They are a big part of why I write this stuff. A couple of you have mentioned how they sound like they are from London or they talk funny...yea...I know.

As I stated before, I found this. This was a story I wrote a couple of ears ago and it was actually based in London when I wrote it. I'm going to try and back off of the weird talk and I'm sorry if it turned anyone off from the plot.

Again, thanks!


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